Father’s Day. I’m getting sentimental in my old age.

I was sitting in another one of our traffic jams the other day, when a wave of emotions came over me.  It was the first time I took a minute to think about how much I missed home, especially my family. As the tears started rolling down my face I was glad I was hidden in the backseat, surrounded by people who were preoccupied with other things and wouldn’t notice or bother me. My quiet and very personal display of emotion was triggered by the realization that Father’s Day is soon approaching, and I would not be able to spend it with my two favorite men. Last August, my grandfather James W. Hudson passed away peacefully in his sleep. It was one of the hardest things our family had to deal with. For months I wasn’t able to say his name without bursting into tears and I know that I’ll be coping with this loss for a while. Even now, I’m getting emotional just writing about my family. Grandpa Jim was a great man. He was a great lawyer, husband, father, and role model for all those around him. I always admired him growing up. I loved going over to his house to hear his stories or talk with him about politics and how outrageous our democrats are, but most of all, I just loved being in his presence. There was something about Grandpa that just drew people in. He was a captivating individual, and it wasn’t until his final days that I realized just how much I admired and respected him as a person. I spent a lot of time with him his last summer here. But I never took the chance to tell him how much I looked up to him. I don’t like having regrets…but that’s one. I knew he could tell how I felt and how much I appreciated him. But it would have been nice to solidify that for the both of us. I miss him like crazy. And I’m always reminded of the view from the front of the church as I looked out to see the whole town packed into his funeral ceremony. Only one word has been able to explain seeing that display of support…overwhelming. He touched so many lives. And I am proud to say I am his granddaughter. He raised one hell of a daughter, and I wish I could be there with Leo and Carol Hallman to morn our loss, and to celebrate our fathers on this special day.

Family has always been important to me, but after Grandpa’s passing I knew I couldn’t take them for granted. He has made me appreciate my relatives and friendships even more, even after he has left this world. Now that’s saying something! The other important man, and by far the most influential for me, has been my father Leo Hallman. I started crying in the van because I was thinking that this was the first Father’s Day I wouldn’t get to spend with my dad. I know I may have complained about going fishing or golfing in the past, but I would give anything to get that chance today. I’d even drive a John Deere down mainstreet while sitting on his lap. I don’t like the term “daddy’s girl” but I had always wanted to be dad’s pal; I wanted us to be buddies. That was always known, and our similarities were forever immortalized in my nickname “little Leo” which mom gave me years ago. He pushed me through all my extracurricular activities; always striving for improvement. I like being good at things and part of that comes from his influence. He always made me want to be better. Growing up, I hated it...but it helped me to never settle for less than my best. He has been a guiding pillar of wisdom for me the last 20 years. I trust dad’s opinion more than most people and could turn to him with any issue. He’s always there to support me, no matter how many times I’ve changed my major. We’ve always gotten along, but in recent times dad and I have butted heads over some issues where I’ve taken mom’s side. “Mary, what are you doing?! Why am I arguing with YOU of all people?” Haha, as much as he won’t admit it, I think dad likes it when I stand up for what I believe is right, even if that goes against his view. I know he feels that way for all his children. Andy and Julie, if you’re reading this, know that your father sings your praises constantly. He won’t tell you because he doesn’t want you to get a big head, and he wants his complements to be valuable (personal insight there). But growing up behind you two has been intimidating. You are two of the brightest and most clever people I’ve ever known. And I know dad is so very proud of you guys. I’ve loved every minute of being in this family and am grateful for each member. Don’t worry mom, I didn’t forget about you! I love you too! But today is Dad’s day. So please try and find something special for him to do. And Dad, just know that I love you and miss you. I appreciate all you’ve done for me and this family. And I can’t wait to go on a tractor ride as soon as we can get back to Poky! Love you Dad J Happy Father’s Day!